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Even before we moved Caribbean Soul to the far end
of "R" Pier, we knew about Big Bird. We had seen
the calling card of this spindly-legged, prehistoric-looking
heron splattered over the dock. A few slips down, our neighbors
(we'll call them John and Brenda) had designed an elaborate
system of flapping flags and windsocks to keep Big Bird away.
Their defense was conceived after the feathered pooper had
the audacity to enter their enclosed cockpit, apparently preferring
shade and privacy while taking care of business.
One warm and breezy fall afternoon, we were doing what most
sailors do on a perfect sailing day: working on the boat.
Nick was sealing chainplates on deck, while neighbor John
was on the dock repairing a boat part. At John's feet, his
Dachshund puppy (we'll call him Bud) was dreaming of rabbits.
Suddenly, a shriek splintered the air, followed by screams
and cursing. Nick sprang off the boat and ran down the dock.
A shadow passed overhead, and Nick heard the whoosh of wings
sweeping through the air. He discovered a scene of mayhem
and confusion. John was waving his arms wildly and swearing
to make a sailor blush. An atomic explosion of gray excrement
covered the dock. John was dripping from head to toe with
the fowl mess. A partially digested fish balanced on his shoulder.
Bud, yapping gleefully, pranced through the puddles, devouring
the undigested fish parts that littered the dock. Yes, God
loves little puppies and sends them snacks from heaven! John's
wife, who witnessed the ambush from the safety of their boat,
was laughing and wiping tears from her eyes. Yes, God has
a sense a humor!
Turning away from the disaster, Nick cautiously eyed Big
Bird perched on a nearby mast and wondered if "fowl"
weather gear might be in order.
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